Do you ever wonder what people say behind your back?
Whether your so-called friends are actually prize bitches?
Do you actually know, because each friend tells on the other for bitching...?
Well, now you can find out! Because all you need to do is....
No, you can't find out. But if you suspect it, you'll have a pretty good idea of what they're saying anyway.
If you have a bowel disease, and so spend more time that usual in the toilet, and can hear a skeptical voice outside, speaking in hushed whispers, that seems familiar...chances are, your friend is whispering "she always takes ages in there! Why can't she hurry up?"
And the best thing to do in this situation (in my humble opinion) is come bursting out the toilet, saying "Glad that's over! Now all I need to do is take my eleven pills and talk to my doctor! Guess what, I think that my bowel is getting more ulcers...."(proceed to talk about all your symptoms in gruelling detail)
And hopefully, if your bitchy friend has any morales or ethics, they'll patiently wait outside while you sit there and lament about how your life is so awful. Not! Actually, they'll probably just do it again.
It's important to note that these aren't really great friends. The great ones would look up your disease, panic for you so you don't have to visit you and bring you balloons when you're ill. The not so great ones pretend they missed you but actually say that you're skiving and you can't be that ill. So read this quote, and be glad of the octopuses in your life. Or is it octopi? I don't care.
Good friends will come and go, like waves on the sea shore.🌊🌊🌊
But great friends will stay with you, like the octopus on your face. 🐙🐙🐙